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it's been years.   
12:08pm 26/07/2009
mood: hopeful
chris and i are getting married. finally.

october 3rd, 2009 @ 1:30pm
scenic beach state park
seabeck wa.

     Read 1 - Post
11:55am 17/01/2008
mood: nija
( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )
in loving memory of bella.   
11:44am 27/11/2005
  this a bit overdue.

i miss you mama.


march 12, 2004 - october 31, 2005
06:04pm 05/10/2005
mood: stressed
i got a car bitches!!! a 2005 mazda 3 coupe, to be precise.

it's about goddamned time i started driving.

this and that but in black.
     Read 11 - Post
like whoa.   
07:47pm 07/09/2005
  also, my baby rocks.

You are Napoleon Dyanamite and a buttload of gangs
are trying to recruit you.

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

fuck yes. i am so in love.
07:29pm 07/09/2005
mood: chipper
i guess i'm lucky after all...

i walked all over hell and back today trying to find a job and the very last place i went (The Grill at Valentino) hired me on the spot. it was fucking AWESOME. but wait, the best part is next... it pays $10 an hour plus tips.

i rule.

and, i get to wear a suit. i am SO fancy. hooray for new clothes. we all know how i like to use every opportunity possible to spend money... lol.
     Read 2 - Post
03:07pm 04/09/2005
  Get on it Bitches!(MySpace.)  
     Read 2 - Post
09:05am 04/09/2005
mood: excited
nathan called me from korea.

have you ever gotten a phone call from korea?

no, i didn't think so.

that is so fucking cool!!!

nathan, you ROCK.
     Read 1 - Post
i've got mad skills.   
03:40pm 26/08/2005
mood: melancholy
Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.


Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.


Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.


i cut my hair. retro bangs, a-frame bob. i am so f-ing hot.

go my team.


leaving glacier in: 3 days.

i'm starting to think twice about it.

there are so many hikes/drives i still want to do. i still haven't shown mike trick falls. i didn't get any pictures of myself on top of any mountains. i didn't accomplish all the goals i had set for myself. i can't say that i'm disappointed, just sad thatmy time here has come to an end so quickly.

everyone here will be greatly missed and all our time together won't be soon forgotten. a few of you have stolen little pieces of my heart (you know who you are) and i know we will someday meet again.

i have nothing but love for this place.

love and good memories.
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10:58pm 17/08/2005
mood: cranky
leaving in: 12 days.

unbearbly hot weather in: 13 days.

i still need to pack my room.
polyamory; i.e. the ethical slut.   
11:27am 04/08/2005
mood: nostalgic
birthday in : 2 days.

i couldn't be less excited.

i just want to be at home.


with chris.

on the couch.


about nothing.

and being.

perfectly happy.
     Read 1 - Post
"mama, i'm coming home..." ozzy.   
10:50am 02/08/2005
mood: pissed off
fuck this place. i'm not happy here anymore and i'm making shit for money. $250 for two weeks worth of work. yeah fucking right. i'm so coming home. like now.
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02:50pm 31/07/2005
mood: irritated
You are a PHOENIX in your soul and your
wings make a statement. Huge and born of flame,
they burn with light and power and rebirth.
Ashes fall from your wingtips. You are an
amazingly strong person. You survive, even
flourish in adversity and hardship. A firm
believer in the phrase, 'Whatever doesn't kill
you only makes you stronger,' you rarely fear
failure. You know that any mistake you make
will teach you more about yourself and allow
you to 'rise from the ashes' as a still greater
being. Because of this, you rarely make the
same mistake twice, and are not among the most
forgiving people. You're extremely powerful and
wise, and are capable of fierce pride, passion,
and anger. Perhaps you're this way because you
were forced to survive a rough childhood. Or
maybe you just have a strong grasp on reality
and know that life is tough and the world is
cruel, and it takes strength and independence
to survive it. And independence is your
strongest point - you may care for others, and
even depend on them...but when it comes right
down to it, the only one you need is yourself.
Thus you trust your own intuition, and rely on
a mind almost as brilliant as the fire of your
wings to guide you.You are eternal and because
you have a strong sense of who and what you
are, no one can control your heart or mind, or
even really influence your thinking. A symbol
of rebirth and renewal, you tend to be a very
spiritual person with a serious mind - never
acting immature and harboring a superior
disgust of those who do. Likewise, humanity's
stupidity and tendency to want others to solve
their problems for them frustrates you
endlessly. Though you can be stubborn,
outspoken, and haughty, I admire you greatly.

Image Source: stp.ling.uu.se/ ~klasp/Boris.html

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
boom swagger boom boom boom   
09:44am 20/07/2005
mood: nostalgic
(i love the murder city devils.)

i can't wait until el comes out to play. hopefully i can convince her (and whoever else) to come on my birthday... (also the day of BABB FEST). hours and hours of music and dancing and being stoned and eating sundaes (mike and lance are trying to have an ice cream stand - nothing but trouble... lol.) ... and i want to see the puppy. I LOVE PUPPIES.

also, canada was amazing. prince of wales is in the most beautiful setting... i've never seen anything like it. and we saw THREE grizzlies (two on a hillside and one along the side of the road... i took pictures.), a wolf, a bunch of deer and some smallish animal that looked like an obese guniea pig. a very successful trip if i do say so. i hope to make it back before too long... maybe do some hiking? mike will be going up to canada quite often to check on prince's kitchen and the like, maybe i can tag along?... speaking of, mike reminds me exactly of adam. it's almost eerie how similar their personalities are... but it's nice to have a boy who's a friend again who isn't constantly trying to fuck me.

i miss chris. THIS much.

why is vegas so far away?

(i love you i love you i love you)
11:52am 12/07/2005
mood: optimistic
i want to work in kitchens... i think.

being an expo is fun. i listen to good music and make the plates look "pretty" for about 5 hours and then i go home. this job is cake. i hope i get the position permanently.

*crossing fingers*

otherwise, fuck this place.
12:10pm 10/07/2005
mood: depressed
"shawnee, you SUCK."

that's basically what i heard today.

that i'm an incompetent piece of shit that can't run a fucking dining room because i came to work with my tongue ring in and the wrong white fucking shirt.

fuck this place.

(i smoke too much. it hurts to breathe.)

they offered me a serving position and they said they'll let me expedite. great. i'm so excited i can hardly stand it.

this is almost worth going home over.

where is home?

i don't even fucking know that anymore.
     Read 3 - Post
02:08pm 09/07/2005
mood: bored
i finally got my cds in the mail. yes.

who loves team sleep and anti-flag? THIS CHICK. so much. so, so much.

my whole day is better now. even though i'm still lacking a puppy. :(

also, i got asked on a date. funny but awkward. i told him we'd just have to go as friends. i guess we'll see how that works out. he's a nice guy, but i am VERY much in love with chris. chris = my most favorite boy EVER.

no doubt.
fuck. you.   
12:24pm 03/07/2005
mood: sad
fat chicks with belly rings = HOTT


i'm not fat. just "full-figured".


i want to go home.

i am so unhappy.

     Read 8 - Post
i hate that i'm not perfect.   
05:20pm 24/06/2005
mood: depressed
i'm bored, and more than anything, i'd like to go home.

i don't accept the fact that i don't always get things right the first time very well... i'm so defensive, i don't even usually "learn" from my mistakes, i just deflect everything that i'm feeling and everything that's being said onto innocent bystanders and move on. i need to learn to take responsibility for my actions, no matter how small or insignificant they may be.

also; i have a perfect picture in my mind of where i'd like to work for the rest of my life...

a smallish punk rock type cafe where i can wear fun things and have my tattoos showing and get my lip re-pierced. i'm certainly not conservative enough to be working in the establishments i have been. fuck uniforms, they're unflattering and uncomfortable and more often than not, ridiculous. the music sucks as well.

that's all. i don't need much, just the ability to think without boundaries.
     Read 4 - Post
my love is like whoa.   
07:44pm 20/06/2005
mood: nostalgic

Your #1 Love Type: ESFP

The Performer

In love, you relish every moment and tend to get caught up in passion.
For you, sex is how you get in touch with all your senses.

Overall, you are creative, popular, and flexible.
However, you tend to dislike criticism and avoid any conflict.

Best matches: ISTJ or ISFJ

Your #2 Love Type: ENFP

The Inspirer

In love, you are passionate and eager to develop a strong bond.
For you, sex should be playful, creative, and affectionate.

Overall, you are perceptive and bring out the best in your partner.
However, you tend to hold on to bad relationships after they've turned bad.

Best matches: INTJ and INFJ

Your #3 Love Type: ESFJ

The Caregiver

In love, you are very giving. You give your sweetie a lot of special attention.
For you, sex should be warm and intimate... a way to give and share love.

Overall, you are upbeat, kind, and affectionate.
However, you tend to also be a bit needy and manipulative at times.

Best matches: ISFP or INFP